There are many contradictions in this life, and situations known as dichotomies in which seemingly opposite conditions exist simultaneously and synchronically flow into each other symbiotically. Many of these affairs are tethered to our emotional, and spiritual experiences of wellbeing.  One such example would be the position of having to give something to keep it. You cannot truly feel love, if someone loves you and you do not love them back. Love is largely only felt, by giving it away.  The myriad of compatible other life narratives would be joy, happiness, peace of mind, wellbeing, compassion and togetherness. One will not have these experiences without sharing them or offering to give them away. The proverbial having of your cake and eating it too exists in this scenario. It cannot exist in many others.

A good lesson for life that I have learned is about where my focus lies, and my mind dwells and turns out to be the defining position of my current emotional state. There are also other means of achieving happiness (or so we have been told) through more selfish pursuits which would be goals, accomplishments, the acquisition of things, accumulation of wealth and the total satisfaction of desires. But the latter here, generally are akin to eating Chinese food, where we no sooner complete the meal, that we are hungry once again. The satisfaction of any self-benefiting pursuit ends up being empty calories, while self-forgetting, service-oriented undertakings tend to leave us satisfied and full.

 Many personal development and self-improvement programs and books are big on setting goals, following dreams, and acquiring all the things we desire without compromise. The result of such journeys is that we become enslaved to the result, miss the joy of the present moment pursuit and leverage our happiness to some future “end game” that never really arises, and once it does, we have already set a newer one.

 For those whose dreams, goals, pursuits and desires are selfless service to others, making an impact on life and have a real effect on the spread of joy, what they aim to share, is spread through them and thus offers the direct personal benefit without ever thinking of themselves at all. In short, by giving it we receive it. The flip side of life’s great dichotomy.

 I have personally experienced such contradiction in my life many times by receiving joy and fulfillment when I was only trying to lift or assist another and I found my true love and soulmate when I gave up looking for love and become a person that offered value to others.

 Not that I am one that’s should give any advice as God knows most of the time I am a mess, but I will say that chasing anything is a race we will not win, but giving everything will fill us up beyond our wildest dreams. The final contradiction is that the end resulting Joy is what we were looking for to begin with. Stop chasing Joy and you will catch it, give up pursuing dreams and they will unfold, forget about yourself and you will live your best life.  I believe St Frances of Assisi taught us to pray in such a manner:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace:
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.
O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

THE JOURNEY IS THE DESTINATION