We all struggle with alternating versions of ourselves.
1). The image we try to hold of who we WANT to be, plan and hope to be.
2). The reality of the person our habits, expectations, actions and level of discipline, resolve, responsibility and determination creates.

Similar to the story about the two wolves in our heads,(good wolf, bad wolf) the one we feed survives.

Are your habits, actions, and discipline congruent with your desired self?

Being disciplined and diligent is hard.
Being less than you know you can be, desire to be is also hard.

So it will be tough either way, which result is more worth the struggle ?